I broke down today. I was frustrated with myself…I was frustrated with who I am. In the moment when I started to cry, I became frustrated that I would let this bother me so much.

Do you every measure yourself…your worth…by what you can do? I do. My frustration grew into a realization that I need to get over this. Not just today. Not just in that moment when I felt pathetic in front of Tim. But I need to overcome this in my life.

What defines you?

Is it your intelligence? Your athleticism? Your witty humor or ability to communicate well with people? Your job? Your looks? Your clothes? Your body?

This past week and a half I haven’t been able to run because of my ankle. I expressed in some other posts that this was frustrating for me, but I’ve failed to express to you how it has been affecting my days…

I can blame it on a lack of endorphines. I can blame it on my new transition into Student Teaching. Or I can blame it on my lack of sleep and busyness. But that wouldn’t be honest.

This past week I did not love myself.

I could feel God tugging at my heart trying to convince me otherwise, but I’m stubborn. I always tell Tim, “I need my exercise. It allows me to be my best person.” But what if I couldn’t exercise anymore? Does that mean I’ll never be happy?

Defining happiness…

Is it based on what you do? Or…is it based on the PERSON inside?

This past week I defined my happiness by my ability to be athletic. To run. I could feel myself slowly loosing all my training and strength. I felt like less. Running is who I am! Right?

Wrong.

Today I ran for the first time in a week and a half. Yes, I’ve lost some of my endurance, but I have not lost my passion for being outside and running. I feel free!

REMINDER! I run for the LOVE of running.

I can’t let WHAT I DO define my happiness.

I wanted to share this with and let you know that I’m still going to work on this. Pray. Talk out loude about this with Tim. I would love to hear your comments on this…do you ever get frustrated or mad with yourself? Are there times when you don’t feel worthy?

The rest of today and tomorrow, I’m going to focus on what does make me happy. One thing…you guessed it!

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