I need to write! This has priority over the dishes, because I just can’t seem to get this feeling off of me today! What’s that feeling…
I FEEL FAT!
Why, oh why! Is this a constant struggle with women. I remember the first time I really worried about my body image–in 4th grade!!!! That is way to early to be thinking about this stuff. What I really don’t like about this constant struggle in my mind, is that it CONTROLS my day, my mood, my productivity, my relationship with Tim–it controls me!
I NEED TO LOVE MYSELF FOR WHO GOD CREATED ME TO BE!
The purpose of this blog is to share the idea that every day is a chance to RENEW ourselves, with a focus on feeling healthy. Yet, something I will forget, is that my strength and renewal and BEAUTY comes from God. God gave us the freewill to make our own choices every day…what does this mean for me today?
It means that I can choose to be positive about my body. Today I will make choices about eating that will make me feel good and not allow me to get lost even further into this “fat mind-set”. And then I’ll take it from there…I’ll see how I feel tomorrow and look positively into the future–with these choices I will have a healthy, strong body.
Writing all this down still doesn’t always make everything feel better. The fact that my pants aren’t all fitting like I would like today still follows me–because I’m WEARING them! You know what started my “Feeling Fat Syndrom” today?? It was comparing myself to another girl’s body. How often do we all get caught in this?
Here is my prayer…”God please allow me to feel beautiful today. Beautiful in a way that I know pleases you. Help me to stop comparing myself to the past and allow me to look at today. Thank you for always telling me I’m beautiful. Amen. ”
I’m feeling better. Thanks for listening. Lets all pray for one another today, that we all feel beautiful, not because of our bodies, but because God created us!!
This is why I should always be happy…
Renewal 
7 comments
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February 10, 2010 at 5:23 am
Lin
Wow, I’m so glad you chose to write about this today. Its an amazing coincidence. After work I decided to go to the mall because I needed a new scarf, and thought that I might look for a cute jacket for spring as well. Also, I had a long day at work and just needed to decompress and walk it off a little. After an hour of window shopping, I was overwhelmed by a feeling I could identify… and that feeling was “FAT!!!” Now, in my mind I know that I am not fat. I’m 5’9″, weigh 150 lbs., and have worked out for 27 years. I’m in good shape, and wear a size 8, just like I did when I was 25 (I’m now 54, and had five babies). I can still wear a short skirt and high heeled boots and look good. But all you see in the shop windows are size 2 manikins with the tiny clothes that they have on pulled even tighter in the back with clothespins, and after so much of this, I started to feel terrible about myself, I mean seriously. Fortunately I did find a really cute jacket after all, which I decided not to buy quite yet, but just trying it on gave me a good reality check and a lovely anti-fat feeling. Then I came home, got on my laptop and read your blog… EXACTLY what I needed to see. I first started worrying about comparing to other girls when I was (get this) 7 years old! I actually remember the first day I felt that way… at age 7!!! Perhaps an even lovelier reality check is found in Psalms 139: 14-15 “I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body.” We are beautiful, and treasures, in our Father’s eyes. But one of my very favorite scriptures on this subject comes from 1 Peter 3: 3-4
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of GREAT WORTH(emphasis mine) in God’s sight.” He formed us in His hands, and breathed the sweet breath of life into us from himself, and planned us as we are (individually) from his first thought of us, before conception. Does He want us to live our best to be healthy, active, and fully enjoying the gift of our lives? Yes. But there are uncounted millions of women who are perfectly beautiful, who strive to be healthy, who know that their Father loves them, and yet daily feel worthless, ugly, and inferior because of these media messages we are sent. Women die every year from eating disorders. If I can keep a sense of balance with regard to my health, exercise, food, and self image, I think it is largely due to keeping my focus off of myself and on God. The more I obsess about myself and every little flaw, the worse I feel. Jesus intimately understands every single one of our struggles, and cares so deeply and tenderly. I believe it must grieve His heart to see how we tear ourselves up inside when He knows the truth… that each and every one of us are as beautiful as He sees us. Thank you so much for addressing this issue with such candor and honesty, in the truly lovely way that you look at things. I can tell you personally that in all the pictures I have seen of you, you are amazingly pretty!… and if I see you that way, how much lovelier must you be in the sight of your beloved Father!!! Love from your friend, Lin:)
February 11, 2010 at 2:34 am
beccadressler
Lin–you put me to tears. Your honesty and wisdom is beautiful. I thank you so much for this friendship; you truly inspire me! Thank you.
p.s. Could I post this comment on one of my posts? I think it’s a beauitful message that everyone needs to hear.
February 10, 2010 at 5:57 am
Bobbi Johnson
Sister, I’m sure you’ve heard this song, but you should listen to “Beautiful” by Johnny Diaz. There is no more beautiful you, than YOU, Sister! Thank you for your honesty in your post. All women are interrelated with the issue of body image, regardless of size. And when it comes down to it, all we have to do is treat and view our body as a temple, exactly as God wishes. You are my inspiration, my little health nut, so keep up the good work and wonderful posts. Love you.
February 10, 2010 at 3:49 pm
Carrie Horton
I LOVE THIS! But remember that we do not always have to be happy! We can be always joyful because of Christ in us and the fact that He delights in us JUST as he created us…but we are also allowed to feel sad, or lonely, or upset (even though you, my dear, have the uncanny ability to be happy most of the time!). God delights in us not because of how we look or what we do, but because He created us and we are beautiful! We rejoice in His delight, not the delight of any man or woman!
“Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy.” ~ 1 Peter 1:8
February 11, 2010 at 2:29 am
beccadressler
This is why you’re my friend! Your words always comfort me. Thank you, Carrie. Really–thank you.
February 11, 2010 at 4:17 am
Lin
Dearest Becca,
You certainly may post anything I ever write to you if you would like. And to add one more comment, I have to agree with your friend Carrie about the inherent “happiness factor” in you. Even though I have only just discovered you, so to speak, and don’t know you well, it’s so apparent to me that you are a genuinely joyful person, and I know that you must be a special delight to God’s heart! I believe I told you the first time I wrote to you that I found your blog on a day that was particularly stressful and challenging to me, and how it made such a difference in my outlook at my job that afternoon. May I just say that I don’t believe that things like that are any accident, or coincidence. I have no doubt that I was guided to you, as your voice was precisely what I needed to hear that afternoon. God is great in His wisdom and tender in His love and knowledge of our deepest heart and what the heart longs for. On that day, for me, it was your joy! Love to you, Lin
(p.s. — the next time I’m in Portland to visit Kaitlin, I would love to meet you and take you and Tim to lunch! )
February 14, 2010 at 9:18 pm
beccadressler
Lunch sounds great! Just let me know when you’re in town 🙂